Finding Peace: Best Practices for Dealing With Grief During the Holiday Season

The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, family, and celebration—but for many, it’s also a time when grief feels heavier than ever. Whether someone is coping with the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, changes in family dynamics, or even unmet expectations, holidays and grief can collide in painful ways. The contrast between the festive world around you and the internal experience of sadness can make this time overwhelming, isolating, and emotionally complex.

Understanding the different forms of grief and how to face them with compassion is a meaningful step toward healing. Every type of loss comes with its own challenges, and by acknowledging those differences, we can better learn how to support ourselves—or someone we love—through the season.

Common Forms of Grief During the Holidays

Grief doesn’t look the same for everyone. People may find themselves grieving:

1. Loss of a Loved One

Perhaps the most recognized form of grief, losing someone close, can make the holidays especially painful. Traditions, rituals, and family gatherings often highlight the absence of the person who is no longer here. For some, this may be the first holiday season without them; for others, the ache returns year after year.

2. Relationship Changes

Breakups, divorce, or estrangement can create a sense of loss that is intensified during the holidays. The expectation of gathering with loved ones can feel jarring when a significant relationship has ended or changed drastically.

3. Loss of Identity or Role

Some grieve the loss of who they once were—such as empty nesters, caregivers who have lost someone they cared for, or individuals who are navigating major life transitions, like retirement or chronic illness.

4. Unmet Expectations

A quieter but very real grief comes from mourning the holiday experiences we hoped for but didn’t get—such as family harmony, financial stability, or meaningful traditions that never came to be.

5. Collective or Community Grief

Widespread tragedies, community loss, or global crises can make the holidays feel less joyful and more reflective, leaving some people carrying grief that isn’t tied to a single event.

Each form of grief carries its own emotional weight, and grief and the holidays can intersect in ways that heighten these emotions. Recognizing the type of grief you’re experiencing is the first step toward overcoming grief in a healthy, compassionate way.

Why Grief Feels Stronger During the Holidays

Holidays come with built-in triggers: sensory memories, traditions, anniversaries, and expectations. When grief is present, these elements can serve as reminders of what has changed or been lost. People also tend to compare their internal experiences with external holiday cheer, which can worsen feelings of isolation.

Understanding that this intensification is normal—not a sign that you’re “going backwards”—can help soften the pressure you may be putting on yourself.

Best Practices for Coping With Grief During the Holiday Season

While there is no one-size-fits-all approach, certain grief coping skills can help you navigate this emotionally difficult time.

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Suppressing grief only makes it surface in unexpected ways. Allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, longing—or even joy. Emotional flexibility is a powerful tool in healing from grief. You do not need to pretend to be okay for others.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

You may not have the emotional or physical energy to celebrate as you normally would. Adjust your expectations and communicate your needs with others. Letting people know what you can and cannot participate in is a vital step in overcoming grief.

3. Create New Traditions

Hanging onto old traditions can be comforting for some, but painful for others. Starting a new tradition can help you honor your grief while still finding meaning during the season. This might include lighting a candle for a loved one, donating in their name, journaling, or taking time for peaceful reflection.

4. Honor the Loss

Whether your grief is tied to a person, a relationship, or an earlier version of yourself, honoring what you lost may bring comfort. Some people create memory boxes, cook a loved one’s favorite recipe, frame a photo, or share stories.

5. Lean on Your Support System

You do not need to move through grief and the holidays alone. Reach out to friends, support groups, or loved ones who understand. Sometimes just being heard can make the season more bearable.

6. Prioritize Self-Care

Grief is physically and emotionally exhausting. Rest, nourishing food, slow mornings, walks, meditation, or therapy sessions can all support your overall wellness. These small acts of self-kindness contribute greatly to healing from grief.

7. Seek Professional Support

Therapists, grief counselors, and support groups can offer tools and perspectives that deepen your coping skills. If your grief feels overwhelming or unmanageable, professional support can make a meaningful difference.

8. Allow Yourself to Opt Out

It is okay to say no. Not every invitation or holiday event will feel right, and forcing yourself to participate often causes more emotional strain. Give yourself the space to step back when needed.

9. Practice Mindfulness

Staying grounded in the present moment can reduce the overwhelming thoughts that accompany the holiday season. Deep breathing, meditation apps, or simply pausing for a few minutes can restore a sense of balance.

Finding Hope Through the Season

Navigating holidays and grief is never simple, but it is possible to move through the season with greater compassion for yourself. There is no “right way” to grieve, and overcoming grief is not about forgetting your loss—it’s about learning how to carry it with you while continuing to live, love, and heal.

By recognizing your grief, practicing healthy coping strategies, and allowing yourself to seek connection and support, you can find a sense of peace and meaning—even in a time that feels heavy. Healing takes time, but you don’t have to walk the path alone.